Are you training or do you run for fun?

That question I get a lot. It's so hard to answer it too. I do run for fun. I am also "training" for the marathon (or 1/2) as well. I say "training" because I am really not doing anything differnetly that I wouldn't normally do during any other week. I am not doing speed workouts, I am not following a training plan/ schedule. I am just running because that is what makes me happy, thats what keeps me healthy (mentally and physically) and that is just what I do and who I have become. Clearly I am not following a schedule because my training plan would be horrible. Take 4 weeks off before one half then take another week off, maybe run another 1/2 then 4 weeks later run another. Yeah I don't really know how that would work out. Good thing I'm not training! haha.

I usually answer the question on my running with an, "I run because it is the one thing that I selfishly do for myself that I love to do." It's honest and to the point. The fact that it keeps me healthy, at a good weight for my height and gives me a free boost of drugs (endorphins) to make me happy doesn't hurt either. I figure since I run so much I might as well get some racing bibs to hang on my wall while I'm at it and a few free t-shirts are nice too!

Another question I hate to answer: So when are you two having kids? Is it so wrong that I am too selfish that I don't want to give up my freedom? Yes, I feel like I am a horrible person because I am missing that "i can't wait to get married and have kids and my life will be finally complete" gene. I just never envisioned myself as a mother. I never imagined what it would be like to raise my own child, to be pregnant, and to hold my own baby after giving birth. I just haven't ever had that dream. I feel like people pity me and think, "poor Melissa. She doesn't want kids! How sad!" I don't know why people feel sorry for me. It was a choice. Not a choice made by my body but made by me, or I guess not made by me as I never really thought about it to make it a choice.

People also automatically assume that since I don't want kids, that I don't know what to do with them. Or that I don't like kids. Or that I will hurt them, or drop them, or do whatever. Nope. I am not retarded. I know how to hold a baby. I was a nanny for a baby and a 2 year old. They loved me, and I loved them. It was fun. However, at the end of the day I could go home, stay up late and then sleep in. They weren't my kids and if I didn't feel like it, I didn't have to go that day. Nanny's get sick days. Mom's don't.

I don't know how my friends who are moms do it. Paula runs every morning before her daughter V wakes up. She then goes home and is a mom all day long. Just listening to stories from my friends makes me tired, and I am not even doing anything. I am just listening to what they have to do everyday. I cannot give moms and dads more credit. In my eyes they are amazing. Superheros. Yes of course sometimes the stories makes me jealous. Taking a nap during the day and snuggling with a warm little midget next to you. Or listening to the things that a four year old comes up with and cracking up and peeing my pants because it is so innocent and so brilliant all at the same time. I do like kids. I just have never thought I would have my own.

So for all of you reading this blog, please do me a favor. Stop asking me these two questions. I hate answering them, and I hate the look of utter craziness when I say that I run for fun and the look of pity when I say that having kids for my husband and I aren't on our radar and in our hand of cards. I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks for reading my rant. I promise after today the mileage tracker for this month will move and more running stories will be added. Thanks for not un-following me!